Oil Nation [8.25.12]

This has been an idea I've had for a really, really long time and always thought would make a great one-act, but I've always worried it's a little one-trick pony and moralistic. It's basically a farce on how dependent our country is on oil and how unwilling we are to find substitutes. One of my biggest fears is that in my lifetime we'll run out of oil and start a war. I wish I were kidding.
 

#25: OIL NATION

Written

by

Sean Pollock

(Lights up on a MOTHER, trying to breastfeed her child and her husband, FATHER, getting ready for work. It is early in the morning. As the lights rise, the baby is crying very loudly)

MOTHER: Stop crying! (to Husband) What do I do to make him stop crying?

FATHER: I don’t know, give him his oil bottle!

MOTHER: I don’t know if he likes this oil!

FATHER: Well what kind is it?

MOTHER: It’s premium.

FATHER: Well that’s why. Babies only drink regular oil.

(He hands her a baby bottle filled with oil from the fridge. The Mother tries to feed it to her baby, but it knocks it out of her arms)

MOTHER: How’s the oil coffee comin?

FATHER: It’s comin.

MOTHER: He didn’t like the regular oil either.

FATHER: Do we have any more baby oil food?

MOTHER: No I think we’re out.

(Father lights up an oil-flavored cigarette)

MOTHER: Don’t smoke those oil cigarettes in here, Jim. It’s bad for the baby. If you’re in an oil fix, just shoot up.

(He puts it out. He takes out a syringe filled with oil and injects it into himself)

FATHER: Much better.

MOTHER: Give me some too.

(He does. She shoots up the oil too)

MOTHER: Got that feels so fucking good.

(The coffee pot and toaster go off)

FATHER: Oil coffee and oil toast, coming right up!

MOTHER: Make sure you put peanut oil and oil jam on mine.

(He does. He gives it to her. The Mother tries to feed her baby peanut oil and jam-covered toast. It throws her toast)

MOTHER: Honey, could you make some chocolate oil syrup and oil milk for him?

(He does. He gets some chocolate oil syrup and oil milk and mixes it and puts it in a bottle. He gives it to the baby. The baby sucks on it, and burps)

MOTHER: Guess mommy’s milk isn’t good enough for him.

FATHER: There’s not enough oil in it.

MOTHER: Yeah. (beat) I love oil.

FATHER: I love oil too.

MOTHER: You don’t think we’ll ever…run out? Do you?

FATHER: Naw, of course not.

MOTHER: That’s good. I don’t know what I’d ever do without oil.

(Lights fade)