#3: FURRTOPIA (SCENE 2)
FURRTOPIA (SCENE 2)
Then, KAGE re-appears on his phone. We hear it ringing, and ringing, and ringing.
Enter a woman, KAREN, making soup. She has a pot with a lid on it. She holds it over an invisible stove. She looks at her phone, horrified but too scared to hang up. She lets a few more rings go, then answers it.
KAREN: Hello...?
UNCLE KAGE: Hey! Hey, hey! What are you up to?
KAREN (cautious): I'm...making soup.
UNCLE KAGE: Oooh! Yeah? What kind of soup.
KAREN (still confused): Uh...a Green Pea soup. Some ham in it.
UNCLE KAGE: Sounds super yummy! Sounds great!
A silence.
KAREN (sighs. Then, exasperated:) Sam. What's...going on.
UNCLE KAGE: I just. I just got into the most infuriating interaction with this infernal hotel manager I thought I had a lead on and she just. (holding back tears). Goddammit. It's so hard! It's so fucking hard. She was so. Oh god. If you'd had been there? You would've been like/
KAREN: What did she say?
UNCLE KAGE: The same thing they always say! She brought up the CSI episode and wanted to like, Snapchat me or something--She laughed in my face. She just laughed in my face.
KAREN: I'm sorry, Sam. I'm sorry but/
UNCLE KAGE: And I wouldn't have had to speak to this INSUFFERABLE woman if we didn't have to change hotels, because the Hilton over here just got Criss Angel to open for them so they think they can just jack up the price/
KAREN: Huh. I didn't know he was still like, performing.
UNCLE KAGE: She just. Something in her. She just, she just reminded me of all the popular girls in high school. Just clueless. Just asinine. Like when you used to talk to me about Jenna McPherson growing up. That girl who like, poured a ketchup bottle out on your head when you were a freshman?
KAREN: Yeah. She was. Um/
UNCLE KAGE: Just like a complete CUNT. A complete and total cunt. That's what she was. Just a fucking bitch. She doesn't know anything anyway, I know that. It just still. Oh god.
KAREN: Sam I'm...I'm really sorry that you had a rough day but I...I just. I'm getting ready to sit down for dinner/
UNCLE KAGE: Is someone else there? Are you alone? Could I maybe come over?
KAREN: Sam...
UNCLE KAGE: Please, just. Five more minutes--
KAREN: I can't. I really can't. I'm sorry. I gotta go.
Blackout.
Projection: SIX MONTHS LATER.
The song "Go Back" by Alexander Bergil blasts.
A light rises stage right of LUIS in a blue unicorn onesie. He has his Mom's purse. He dumps it out, takes all the change and steals a $20 or two from her wallet. Then her runs out.
Another light rises on STEPHANIE, mostly in the dark, putting on her fursuit. It is cruical we don't see her face clearly. Maybe she is putting her head piece on as the lights go up. She is dressed up with as Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony. She wears all bubble-gum pink and has a cotton candy-colored mane. She takes her suitcase, checks her watch and runs out. This sequence should synch up perfectly.
Enter CHARLEY who is wearing a Tuxedo Cat Costume with big, blinking sweet eyes, dancing wearing a FURRTOPIA 2018 badge.
Enter BOOMER THE DOG, a TV character from Here's Boomer, an obscure TV show from the early 80's. He is dressed exactly like a Berger des Pyrénées dog, but it's obvious he's on a budget. His fursuit is not as elaborate as CHARLEY or STEPHANIE'S. He wears a badge, and dances as well.
Enter DEREK, in an orange fox onesie with a belt with furry tail attached. He also wears orange fingerless gloves, with fur on them.
Enter STEPHANIE and LUIS with badges. They all dance together.
When the song is nearing its end, enter UNCLE SERGI with a manilla folder filled with schedules.
Everyone applauds.
They all sit down.
Then, KAGE re-appears on his phone. We hear it ringing, and ringing, and ringing.
Enter a woman, KAREN, making soup. She has a pot with a lid on it. She holds it over an invisible stove. She looks at her phone, horrified but too scared to hang up. She lets a few more rings go, then answers it.
KAREN: Hello...?
UNCLE KAGE: Hey! Hey, hey! What are you up to?
KAREN (cautious): I'm...making soup.
UNCLE KAGE: Oooh! Yeah? What kind of soup.
KAREN (still confused): Uh...a Green Pea soup. Some ham in it.
UNCLE KAGE: Sounds super yummy! Sounds great!
A silence.
KAREN (sighs. Then, exasperated:) Sam. What's...going on.
UNCLE KAGE: I just. I just got into the most infuriating interaction with this infernal hotel manager I thought I had a lead on and she just. (holding back tears). Goddammit. It's so hard! It's so fucking hard. She was so. Oh god. If you'd had been there? You would've been like/
KAREN: What did she say?
UNCLE KAGE: The same thing they always say! She brought up the CSI episode and wanted to like, Snapchat me or something--She laughed in my face. She just laughed in my face.
KAREN: I'm sorry, Sam. I'm sorry but/
UNCLE KAGE: And I wouldn't have had to speak to this INSUFFERABLE woman if we didn't have to change hotels, because the Hilton over here just got Criss Angel to open for them so they think they can just jack up the price/
KAREN: Huh. I didn't know he was still like, performing.
UNCLE KAGE: She just. Something in her. She just, she just reminded me of all the popular girls in high school. Just clueless. Just asinine. Like when you used to talk to me about Jenna McPherson growing up. That girl who like, poured a ketchup bottle out on your head when you were a freshman?
KAREN: Yeah. She was. Um/
UNCLE KAGE: Just like a complete CUNT. A complete and total cunt. That's what she was. Just a fucking bitch. She doesn't know anything anyway, I know that. It just still. Oh god.
KAREN: Sam I'm...I'm really sorry that you had a rough day but I...I just. I'm getting ready to sit down for dinner/
UNCLE KAGE: Is someone else there? Are you alone? Could I maybe come over?
KAREN: Sam...
UNCLE KAGE: Please, just. Five more minutes--
KAREN: I can't. I really can't. I'm sorry. I gotta go.
Blackout.
Projection: SIX MONTHS LATER.
The song "Go Back" by Alexander Bergil blasts.
A light rises stage right of LUIS in a blue unicorn onesie. He has his Mom's purse. He dumps it out, takes all the change and steals a $20 or two from her wallet. Then her runs out.
Another light rises on STEPHANIE, mostly in the dark, putting on her fursuit. It is cruical we don't see her face clearly. Maybe she is putting her head piece on as the lights go up. She is dressed up with as Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony. She wears all bubble-gum pink and has a cotton candy-colored mane. She takes her suitcase, checks her watch and runs out. This sequence should synch up perfectly.
Enter BOOMER THE DOG, a TV character from Here's Boomer, an obscure TV show from the early 80's. He is dressed exactly like a Berger des Pyrénées dog, but it's obvious he's on a budget. His fursuit is not as elaborate as CHARLEY or STEPHANIE'S. He wears a badge, and dances as well.
Enter DEREK, in an orange fox onesie with a belt with furry tail attached. He also wears orange fingerless gloves, with fur on them.
Enter STEPHANIE and LUIS with badges. They all dance together.
When the song is nearing its end, enter UNCLE SERGI with a manilla folder filled with schedules.
Everyone applauds.
They all sit down.
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