Shelly Sells Seashells Down By The Seashore, Scene Three (8.13.14)

#13: SHELLY SELLS SEASHELLS DOWN BY THE SEASHORE

(SCENE THREE)

(At rise Ginny and Patty are outside the store, hanging up flyers on the Boardwalk. Ginny is drinking Iced Coffee from Dunkin Donuts)

GINNY: "Help Wanted: Seeking responsible employee for job on the boardwalk. Retail experience nesessary." You spelled necessary wrong.

PATTY: I did?

GINNY: Yeah you spelled it n-e-s-e-s-s-a-r-y. It's n-e-c-e-s-s-a-r-y. 

PATTY: Shit.

GINNY: Aren't you supposed to be the one with the college degree here?

PATTY: Not in English.

GINNY: "Must have residence in South Jersey and have reliable transportation. If interested, come see Patty at #232 on the boardwalk" There's a lot of flyers here. You're gonna have applications out the wazoo. I mean with this economy? At this time of year? They'll be flocking here.

PATTY: The only people who are gonna be flocking for a job like this will be a bunch of junkies and teenagers. We need someone better than that.

(Patty hangs up a flyer)

GINNY: (beat) You know this is a load of shit, right?

PATTY: Ok one--I might be your cousin, but I'm still the manager so don't undermine my decisions--Two, it's what Dad says. And I gotta do what he says. The man has muscular dystrophy. 

GINNY: Patty I've been working here since we were in high school. I ran that store with my mother while you were at FDU. I mean fuck, what am I saying? It was my mother's store! If anything, I should be firing you!

PATTY: Yeah, well before she died, let me remind you that it was your mother who made me the manager. (beat) Look Gin. Don't be so butthurt about this. This place sucks anyway. You've said it yourself, the only people who come in here are assholes and old people. You'll get another job. A better job. And he is letting you work one day a week until you get a new one, so it's not like you're completely fired.

GINNY: Yeah but it's still like, basically firing me.

PATTY: Well basically's not the same as. Why am I bickering with you? Hang up these flyers.

(Ginny hands Patty her coffee and hangs a few up. Patty lights a Newport)

GINNY: This is wrong. Making me hang up flyers for my own replacement.

(A silence. Patty takes a sip of Ginny's coffee)

GINNY: Sometimes I don't even understand how this piece of shit store is still in business. We get like, what? Twenty customers a day now? I mean before Sandy, it was packed. Now we'll have a good day if we close at 12:30.

PATTY: Yeah, Sandy was a real bitch. Fire didn't help much either.

GINNY: Certainly did not. (beat) How are you guys even gonna afford to hire someone else?

PATTY: Well, with you and Tony gone, I'll just pick up more hours and this new person will be cheaper than keepin both of you. 

GINNY: Damn. You're right.

PATTY: If you could do anything in the world. What would you do?

GINNY: At this point, probably a stripper. They make good money. My friend Daphne from OCC seems to be doing ok. She's got her own house in New Brunswick. Near Rutgers, actually. She says she brings home like, $500 a week or something crazy.

PATTY: C'mon. Be serious.

GINNY: I don't know. Probably…probably own a Nail Salon. I was always good at painting nails.

PATTY: Really? Paint nails? That's what you'd do if you could do anything in the world?

GINNY: Don't mock my nails. What would you do?

PATTY: I think I'd set up a home for homeless gay and trans people. You know. People who have been kicked out of their houses and shit for being…not straight.

GINNY: You'd spend your time with a bunch of homeless queers? That's what you'd do if you could do anything in the world?

(Patty scoffs)

GINNY: Just kiddin. That's a nice idea actually. So…philosophical of you.

PATTY: I think you mean philanthropic. 

GINNY: Whatever.

(A silence)

PATTY: You told Tony his ass is done, right?

GINNY: Yeah.

PATTY: Ginny.

GINNY: (ashamed) No. 

PATTY: On second thought, I don't know if there is even a need to. I mean I guess it is kinda implied after you, you know, hit rock bottom.

(Ginny stops hanging up flyers)

GINNY: Patty, you can say and whatever you want about me but stop chewin out Tony. He's having a hard time as it is.

PATTY: Do you not realize he is the VERY reason why you've lost this job? 

GINNY: Yeah well--what do you expect me to do, Patty? Leave him? Huh? While he's so down like this? He almost died. He's gonna turn it around. 

PATTY: That's what you said last time. And then look at him, face deep in Oxy and Whip-Its all over again. If that's even all he's doing.

GINNY: Yeah well, he's a good person. I did those things too, ok? Does that mean I'm a bad person?

PATTY: I never said either of you were "bad" people. That being said, I think Tony is kind of a bad person.

GINNY: Tell me how ya really feel.

PATTY: He's hit you, Gin. And he's cheated on you. And he treats you like seagull shit.

GINNY: Yeah ok. So things haven't been peachy.

PATTY: Ginny. Are you even happy?

(A silence) 

GINNY: You know what? We are. And we don't need this bullshit. We don't even need "Son Of A Beach".

PATTY: Keep telling yourself that.

(Ginny tears a flyer in half)

GINNY: Once I find a new job, we're gonna get the fuck out of Seaside Heights, and out of Jersey and we'll go someplace fuckin awesome. And I'll have a nail salon, and…and…and, he'll open up a bar, or a club or somethin and we'll be fuckin rollin in it. And you'll be sorry. (beat) Look at you. All high and fucking mighty. Yeah, Tony and I might be fucking up a little bit, but I'd rather be with a fuck-up than be a lonely lesbo who still ives with her dad.

PATTY: (exploding) Ginny, why are you defending him like this? I am trying to protect you! He's a pill-popper who is on a straight shoot to NO WHERE and he is taking you with him!

GINNY: Yeah, well what if I told you that that pill-popper might be the father of my kid. Ok?

(Patty's jaw nearly drops to the floor)

PATTY: Ginny, are you fucking serious.

GINNY: I don't know…I shouldn't've you. Fuck! Me and my big fucking mouth. Fuck.

PATTY: Jesus this is like senior year of high school all over again. (beat) Christ I can't believe it's been that long.

GINNY: I don't know Patty…I haven't taken a test. I'm too scared. But I was supposed to get my period a week ago, and it still hasn't come. 

PATTY: Aren't you on the pill?

GINNY: I am, but I also was when we were in high school when I got the.

PATTY: What's the point of havin it if it doesn't work?

GINNY: Well it usually does. I mean, honestly these days usually I just let him fuck me from--

PATTY: Ok ok ok. 

GINNY: I mean you're right. Maybe I'm overreacting. I mean this has had happened other times too. 

PATTY: Wait, how many other times?

GINNY: It was while you were at school. I never thought to tell ya. 

PATTY: Why didn't you tell me?

GINNY: What was the point? Were you gonna pay for my Plan B?

PATTY: No.

GINNY: Exactly. (beat) Besides…I didn't wanna upset you. You were so much happier then. (beat) With Meghan.

PATTY: Meghan's a bitch.

GINNY: You miss her. C'mon.

PATTY: Sometimes. Sometimes. (beat) We weren't right for each other. She was a dumb kid, anyway. (beat)  Here. Let me hang the rest of these up. Go stick a piss stick in your meat curtains, will ya? 

GINNY: No. 

PATTY: Ginny.

(A silence. Ginny sips her coffee and holds her stomach. She looks helpless. Like a child. After a moment or two, she decides to walk away)

GINNY: Alright. Fine. (beat) Why the fuck are we hanging up posters anyway? Is this the 90's? Post something on Craig's List. Jeez.

(Patty laughs. She puts out her cigarette. Blackout)